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goingtoDenmark
13 May 2008 @ 09:56 pm
tid is acting completely nuts right now and gnawing at my hands as i type  
"one can throw away a chair and destroy a pan of glass, but...[only] idle talkers...regard the state as such a thing or as a fetish that one can smash in order to destroy it. the state is a condition, a certain relationship among human beings, a mode of behavior between men; we destroy it by contracting other relationships, by behaving differently toward one another...we are the state, and we shall continue to be the state until we have created the institutions that form a real community and society."
 
 
goingtoDenmark
09 May 2008 @ 09:14 pm
summerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr  
summer
summer
summer
summer
summer
 
 
goingtoDenmark
01 May 2008 @ 10:41 pm
wonkerz  
i had a dream last night in which i buzzed all my hair off and it felt so good to run my hand over my head and feel all the prickly hairs and i've been thinking about it a lot today and about how fun it would be to have a buzzed head.
 
 
goingtoDenmark
29 April 2008 @ 04:01 pm
it's sooooooooo cold  
i'm about to leave for work which means going outside which means no longer being able to lay in bed under my blankets which means inevitable frozen DOOM
 
 
goingtoDenmark
20 April 2008 @ 04:08 pm
i want to be a georgeous lady of wrestling when i grow up  
[make sure to turn down your volume...a lot]
 
 
goingtoDenmark
19 April 2008 @ 09:06 pm
library pt 2  
i'm at the undergraduate library again and i didn't remember until i was already on the way here that it closes at 10pm tonight. i hate that. seriously. people study on saturday nights. especially people who's houses are the sites of parties and therefore need somewhere quiet to get work done. WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GOOOO. good god, i'm actually thinking about heading to one of those god forsaken coffee shops.
 
 
goingtoDenmark
18 April 2008 @ 02:58 pm
instinct  
about a minute before an earthquake will rock central illinois, tid (my roommate's cat who likes to sleep in my bed) gets up and starts frantically pawing at the door and meowing to get out.

meanwhile once back in bed, when the whole house starts violently shaking i wonder to myself "what on earth is that?" and don't even conceive of it being an earthquake until 1:00pm when i read about it on the news.
 
 
goingtoDenmark
13 April 2008 @ 12:02 am
complain  
i have a horrible head cold and can hardly breathe.
i was too lazy to refill my diamox on time and haven't had it for a few days and so my headaches and vision blurriness and ear pounding and shit are all back and i don't even have tylenol let alone percocet to deal with it.
i should have been writing a paper the last three hours...didn't. should have worked on it last night too...didn't. i can't come even close to thinking coherently about that type of stuff right now.
i have to get up early tomorrow to waste half my day traveling to and from bloomington.
i slept in today and yesterday but still feel exhausted.
i must be sleeping funny too because when i get up my neck and back have been really sore lately and my back has been spasming and shit.

i just want some god damn drugs. i mean really i just want relief but that's what i mean when i say drugs isn't it. the ability to get a decent night's sleep and not wake up feeling like complete shit. why am i falling apart for christ's sake?

i couldn't even finish writing this without my nose leaking snot all over the place.
 
 
goingtoDenmark
09 April 2008 @ 12:32 am
oh jeeze oh jeeze oh jeeze oh jeeze oh jeeze oh jeeze oh jeeze oh jeeze oh jeeze oh jeeze oh jeeze  
I HAVE 8 HOURS TO START AND FINISH AN ESSAY ON A TOPIC I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT FOR A CLASS I'VE BEEN SKIPPING OUT THE WAZOO BUT CAN'T MANAGE TO START BECAUSE I AM FREEEEEAKKKKKINNGGGGGGG OOOOOOUUUUUUUUUTTTTTT.

also because i wasted 45 min watching inside the actor's studio clips on youtube...

FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
 
 
goingtoDenmark
06 April 2008 @ 10:02 pm
definition of a good day  
today the sun shined i rode my bike and i ate lots of dessert
 
 
goingtoDenmark
04 April 2008 @ 01:51 pm
pizza  
i am craving some so bad right now
soooooooooooooo bad
 
 
goingtoDenmark
28 March 2008 @ 12:41 pm
...  
i sort of just want to spend a whole day being held if that doesn't sound too infantile
 
 
goingtoDenmark
23 March 2008 @ 09:44 pm
Why I Will Vote For Barack Obama In The 2008 Presidential Election  
Short Answer: Spite

Long Answer: My grandfather is a typical white man. He was born on a small town in rural Ontario and although his life was far from taxing, he believes himself to be a man of honest hard work and strong moral character. His successes he attributes to the practicality and modesty he learned in the Canadian Royal Guard along with God's gracious felicity. Life is that simple, even if it is not always easy. You live, work, retire and die. That the world could be more complicated than that, that forces move us that we can not control and are not metaphysical, is completely beyond his comprehension. Social sciences, therefore, are scant more than hodge podge ideology from atheist intellectuals. That isn't to say my grandfather is not a smart man. He's incredible shrewd. He prides himself on being a "man of the times" and staying current with economic and technology trends. He's been successfully trading stocks online since I was in kindergarten. But practical knowledge is very different from the type of self serving knowledge that preaches to the masses from ivy towers of academia. The type of self serving knowledge that leads liberal professors to teach his children and now grandchildren that racism is not a sordid fact of yesterday, but a material component of this country's past and continued existence.

True to form, during the past week as Obama has been getting all sorts of crap thrown at him for his ties to Reverend Jeremiah White, my grandfather has been forwarding articles from the slimiest of slimeball conservatives shouting from their righteous wings "HOW DARE HE!" How dare a preacher in the U.S. suggest that the plane hijackings on September 11, 2001 were reactionary to U.S. foreign policy. IMPOSSIBLE! How dare he suggest that there is something acrimonious about the fact that AIDS is largely an infliction in black, poor communities (and gay communities before that). THAT'S THEY'RE FAULT! How dare a man of faith or any true citizen of this country utter the words "God Damn America" under any circumstances. TREACHEROUS! The fact that right wing talk show hosts are having a field day with this is not surprising in the least, but my grandfather becoming implicit in their disgusting idiocy makes my blood just boil. Three times in the past two days I have sat down to write him back but been unable to. I rarely talk to him. Most of his emails I leave unanswered as he sends literally hundreds a year (a real life human spammer). There's no precedent for my cousins, siblings, or I ever contradicting my grandparents about anything - ever. I just can't bring myself to let it go though.

In particular this passage from the most recent article my grandfather sent me stood out: "America has been the best country on earth for black folks. It was here that 600,000 black people, brought from Africa in slave ships, grew into a community of 40 million, were introduced to Christian salvation, and reached the greatest levels of freedom and prosperity blacks have ever known."

Part of me wants to say that racism this blatant and ingrained can not be argued with, but I am just not so easily pacified. So today, about an hour ago, I decided that I just might vote this election season after all. I hadn't been planning to. I was entertaining the idea of using that day to enact some other "civil duties" but perhaps I can do both. I still don't think voting does shit long term. I also don't think Obama's anything too special. He doesn't inspire me to ~*HOPE*~ for a better future; he just inspires me to hope that I get to see the look on every puckered asshole's face when along with my grandfather they have to seethingly address a 'black man who hates America' as "Mr. President."

Despite my general apathy toward him, I thought Obama's speech on Tuesday about race in the U.S. was pretty damn good; amazing for a mainstream politician. There's a really nice write up at the Infoshop [here] that does a great job at highlighting both the ridiculous backlash over Wright and the strengths in Obama's response from an anarchist perspective. Recommended. Also recommended is watching the whole speech on YouTube. [here]

I guess that's all I had to say. I've run out of steam. Bleh.


*Note: This premise presumes Obama will be the Democratic nominee. I feel it is a very reasonably safe presumption as it is nearly mathematically impossible for Hillary Clinton to overtake him in pledged delegates and highly unlikely to do so in the popular vote. Her campaign has been treading water for some time and unless he is caught in bed with a dead woman or a live boy I don't see much chance for her.
 
 
goingtoDenmark
22 March 2008 @ 09:50 pm
Baby, In Retrospect I Think I'm More of a Resolute Capitalist!  
it got ridiculously cold ridiculously quickly and i am not happy about it. however, i have four more graham coxon cds and 1 graham coxon dvd more than i did last week along with a fascinating book about blur so all is good. speaking of books, i just finished "The World Without Us" which was amazing, made me want to read up more about biology and ecology and shit, and also has me feeling pretty keen about forced sterilization. i took a bubble bath last night and plan on taking many many more. good god, this strawberry tart thing i got from the fields is disgusting.

saw my brother star in "high school musical" two days ago and was really creeped out. mostly because he was really fucking good. it was unnerving. he was all acting and dancing and singing and tearing shit up. had dinner that night with my mom at this thai place and she talked all about energy efficiency and nutrition and weird stuff that i deal with at work and HH and it was weird to be able to relate to her in that way. she couldn't explain what vegan was to my aunt and cousin though. [oprah needs to do a special about it.] then i met my dad for lunch the next day and we talked about politics and the fact that i'm pretty independent of my parents at this point and am moving on with my life. blah blah blah.

being here during spring break makes me super excited for summer. it seems like it'll be really nice and laid back and quiet. i can dig it. totally. i'm gonna skate down the middle of empty streets and collect large tree branches to make voodoo figures that i'll put on people's lawns with cryptic messages. just like the old days. gross that was two years ago. grossssss. i'm also probably gonna wear sleeveless shirts exclusively - just to warn everyone.
 
 
goingtoDenmark
19 March 2008 @ 11:02 pm
LOLOLOLOLZZZZ.  
My mom asked me today if I knew what a freegan was.
She saw a special about it on Oprah.

What Are Freegans?
 
 
goingtoDenmark
18 March 2008 @ 01:28 am
Dear Graham Coxon...  
I don't really ever want to get married but I'm increasingly tempted to make an exception for you on the condition that you play The Sky Is Too High up until Who The Fuck? (because really that's not a bed time song now is it?) to me every night before we go to sleep. Think about it, ok?

Sincerely,
.s.s.s.
 
 
goingtoDenmark
15 March 2008 @ 09:47 pm
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH  
*~*~*SPRING BREAK*~*~*
 
 
goingtoDenmark
11 March 2008 @ 12:29 am
summer girls...i mean plans  
- live at HH
- work at the Fields
- take a few classes
- possibly intern/work another place as well
- eat lunch in the A-frame once a week
- convince Brent to build me a bike for free hahahaha
- wake up and spend a whole day walking as far as I can in one direction four times - North, South, East, West - to see what I find
- better survey the free bread scene
- SMASH THE SKATE
- write more inane lyrics/poems/quotes on my walls with the old permanent marker I found under the couch
- tralala boy
- pry my old guitar out of my sister's cold lifeless hands
- climb trees
- cut up all my clothes to make them better suited for the weather only to regret it 4.5 months later
- read!read!read!
- take lots of afternoon naps with Tid
- start that novel I've been meaning to write...bahahahahhahaha...gross


to be added to...
 
 
goingtoDenmark
07 March 2008 @ 11:43 am
...  
I had a dream last night in which I was driving a car to my mom's "house" which was really this strange tent and I was sitting in the car...in the house and looking out at this lake at sunset and thinking how pretty it was and got out a camera to take some pictures and then in a matter of like 3 seconds a huge twister formed next to the lake and started coming right at me and passed over me and nothing happened and I was really disappointed and so as if to make me feel better the wind picked up and a huge gust picked up the car with me in it and dropped us off about 50 yards away and again I was left thinking, "man...that's it?"
 
 
goingtoDenmark
04 March 2008 @ 11:25 pm
...  
i pursued the living; i walked the wildest and the narrowest paths that i might know it's nature. with a hundredfold mirror i still caught it's glance when it's mouth was closed, so that it's eyes might speak to me. and it's eyes spoke to me.